Elixir Fixer-Frugal Motherhood Must Have!

Daily Prompts, Lifes Lessons

via Daily Prompt: Elixir

 

WINE! When I think of the word Elixir  I think of a potion or liquid that fixes a problem. Okay, I guess that could also be medicine. The first thing that came to my mother mind though was in fact, WINE! It would be my elixir of choice. It is also that type of thing that some people love or some people hate.  I am not a wine connoisseur by any means. With this being said, I am in fact a frugal woman. I also know that I have two wines of choice that are cheap and good!

The first one is my go-to wine. This is the wine I drink through the week when my children are making me bat shit! We all have those moments where we literally need a drink. We also still have to be a parent and cannot become shit faced on a Monday. Society frowns upon that type of thing when you’re a mom.  This is why I drink Arbor Mist! It is cheap, comes in all kinds of yummy flavors,w1 and it will not have you walking around like Bambi on ice three drinks in. It is a nice elixir for your “mom life” moments and will come in handy during a moment that your kids are running through the house like monkeys who just broke out of the zoo. Then they give you that look like that is typical behavior and they don’t know why your nervous breakdown face is surfacing!kid-being-an-adult-what-am-i-even-doing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My next elixir of choice is a rather large bottle of white wine. This little gem is sold at Sam’s Club and probably any drug store. It is called Riesling.  I have seen a couple different versions of it and I myself became a fan when I needed a little stronger something but still didn’t want to  walk like it was first day in high heels. It is like 10.00 a bottle and clean and crisp sanity can be found in each amazing drop!schmitt-sohne-blue-bottle-clean-crisp-riesling-kabinett-mosel-germany-10394178

 

 

 

 

 

If you’re having a realllll shitty day and the wine just won’t cut it then grab you a bottle of kahlua this awesomeness and throw it over some ice, a splash of coke, and some milk. This drink will not disappoint and you can still feel like a good mom. It will be a subtle trip to happy town and I always enjoy this more when my husband is home. This is just in case I get a little Kahlua happy. This is my version of the White Russian without the vodka! It’s like Pringles you cannot have just one!

So from one bat shit mom to another, enjoy these when your sanity tank is running low. There is no shame in the elixir game. As long as you aren’t driving your kids around and shit.

Everyone Loves A Party…….

Lifes Lessons

This past weekend we had a party for my last baby. He is turning 1 on the 29th. I love having birthday parties for my kids. It’s one of those, “mom moments” I adore about being a mother. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed his theme, “Wild One”, not the movie either.

While I very much enjoyed his party, I also thought to myself several times, “why the hell do we do all of this”? It is kind of ridiculous that we go to the lengths that we do. I can remember my parents got cake and ice-cream and your few family members came over and that was a party! Where did all of this hype come from when it comes to parties? Is it social media now? So I took a mental note after decorating for an hour at a high rate of speed that I was going to slow down this party. I was going to enjoy this day.

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As a mom I don’t feel like my kids have a party unless we have a theme, cake to match the theme, an entire day dedicated to said child, & of course personalized items for the party. It is exhausting! I feel like my kids deserve it though! I want them to be happy. I want them to enjoy these moments too.

The point of all of this is the bigger picture….it doesn’t have to be an all out event. The memories will still be made, the cake will be eaten, & your child will turn another year older. We as parents need to cut ourselves a break and enjoy the moments with them instead of trying to create more moments for them.

While I did create a themed and exciting birthday this year, I took the time to enjoy more little moments and not stress over any fine details. It was such a more relaxing party. I actually got to enjoy the people there and be in the moment with my kids. I loved it and enjoyed watching Wyatt enjoy his very first birthday!

 

When You Find The “HOLE” in Your Holy Matrimony…

Lifes Lessons, Uncategorized

Holy Matrimony….what the hell does this even mean? Like, is it “officially a Holy Marriage”?  Well, I am in constant assessment of my marriage and love life. Why?….. I have always wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mom. I was careful to find the man who adored me (most days). It was one of those things I had to have in order to be fulfilled and happy with the idea of what I had in my mind for my perfect relationship. It took me a while to get it right. I finally did and it has paid off.

Now, my relationship it is not perfect without any disappointments or hurt, pain, fear, etc. It is perfect in my mind because it’s a “working marriage”. This is what I see as two people constantly working toward making each other better and our life better together.  That doesn’t mean our marriage hasn’t had  what I like to refer to as, “relationship pot holes”. I have noticed there are actually “pot holes” in our life every where. What I have observed is that these holes are just like pot holes on an old dirt road. Pot holes are created by weather, seasons, and heavy traffic. If the water lays on the road too long over and over, a pot hole can be formed. Over time this hole can become deeper and wider. When there is more rain and freezing temperatures followed by warming temperatures, the hole grows.

If you care about this road then you will take the time to go back and fill these holes back up. You will fix your road. If you do not fix them then you spend more time swerving to miss the holes and damaging your vehicle then you do driving the straight and narrow. Eventually this road becomes so bumpy and hard to travel that you are absolutely miserable going down this road.

This is just like a relationship. We get busy in life, kids, work, etc. and we leave these holes in places in our marriage. We don’t pay much attention to them until one day we despise passing through or around this hole. We miss what was once there. We must go fix those holes. That may mean taking a little extra time to spend just talking with your spouse, making dinner together, going to bed together, or just making an effort to really ask how your spouse is doing and ask how you can make their life better.

Sometimes these holes get so large that you don’t know if you can repair them easily. It may take a lot of extra work. If this road is a road you enjoy traveling though, you will find a way to fix it. Ultimately, if you love your spouse and you want a good relationship then you will maintain the road consistently to travel a calm and happy path. If you don’t fix the road then one day you will have to find an alternate route to where you are going. It is all on perspective.

Happy Travels!

Acceptance

Daily Prompts, Lifes Lessons

via Daily Prompt: Acceptance

 

Today acceptance for me is the most difficult part about my day.

“Accept the unacceptable” ….is what I constantly tell myself.

Since I was very young, I have had an innate ability to remove toxic people from my life. I have had a very intuitive nature about me. I would be able to look at someone and know if they were good or bad for me. I was always able to steer away from heartache this way….until I wasn’t.moving-doesnt-mean-that-you-forget-about-things-it-just-means-you-have-to-accept-what-happen-and-continue-living-divorce-quote I have now, due to recent events, learned that acceptance is something you have to sometimes work for. Acceptance is sometimes the only thing standing in the way of your happiness. Before I found out my husband cheated on me, I thought he was wonderful. I thought he loved me the way I loved him. I thought he would always be my protector.

He acted in no way like the man I thought he was. I had to accept he was not who I fell in love with. Then I had to accept the fact that my life was forever changed. For me, I felt this instant draw for some type of normal in my life. I began clinging to him. I wanted nothing more than to just have him near. Odd, you would think I should hate him.  Parts of me did. Parts of me understood him and understood people make mistakes. What I had a hard time accepting he was never going to love me at the same caliber I loved him. Sure, he says he is a changed man, I do believe he is sorry and has changed. The realist in me said he couldn’t change over night. Not unless he finally found the same love for me I had for him. Can I really believe this right now though? I wanted him to rescue me and my broken heart. He wasn’t interested in that. He wanted me to move on and forget about his short comings. There was no rescuing me, no endearing motivation, not much of anything really. He just wanted me to accept the fact that he messed up, move on, & go back to normal.

I have learned acceptance has no timeline, rules, boundaries, or options. You either accept the unacceptable or suffer in your own miserable being. Acceptance means a lot of things to a lot of people. It changes your perception and alters your entire self. What you do with your acceptance will make or break you.

Stupid People Piss Me Off…

Rants

Now, I realize that some people ignore these things in life. For me, these are the most impossible things in life that you just cannot ignore. I am 31 years old and since I can remember, the following items have irritated my soul!th205A5QNP

  1. Parents dropping their kids off at school No, I am not talking about the normal parents. I am talking about the f*cking helicopter parents that pull up to drop off their kid and no one has their shit ready. Like, did you not realize you were going to school today? That stop was not a surprise. Have your shit ready!!! When I throw my kids out it’s practically just a slow down. I am OCD with them having their shit ready. I don’t need to be that parent. Let’s not hold up the progress! Then there is always my favorite parent the, “STOP AND WATCH” parent. The parents who stop to watch their kid walk allllll the way into the school. For F*cks sake! There are trained professionals retrieving your precious cargo. They get paid to do that shit! They got it! Get on with your day!
  2. Loud Eaters     I CANNOT stand a loud eater! You know those people who chew gum like a cow chews cud! OMG! Makes me lose my shit. The best is when my husband hands all of our children gum and then puts them in the car with me. I go INSANE! They spit that shit right back out that window going down the highway. Ain’t nobody got patience for that!
  3. Slow Drivers Using Passing Lane    To all the f*cktards who feel the need to cruise in the passing lane like they have nowhere to be and they are out for their Sunday drive, its a PASSING LANE! Get the hell over! I am not on your ass because I don’t like you. I am on your ass because you are an idiot who needs to get the f*ck over! Move! Continue your Sunday drive in the right lane.
  4. NIBSHITS! This one is a biggie. I cannot stand those people who just want to know everyone’s business. Then, not only do they make your business their business, they feel the need to comment, gossip, put their ideas and arguments into your business. No, Asshat, if it doesn’t concern you then be happy. Be happy you don’t have to deal with my life and deal with your own shit.
  5. Close Talkers  Do I need to say much about this? Back the f*ck up! Your space is not my space. I like to be at arms length. I don’t want to taste your breath! Frikin people! Ugh!
  6. Parents of “THOSE KIDS”   We all know these kids and we have all seen their parents. These are the kids that are throwing shit in the restaurant and their parents are too busy texting everyone and taking a damn selfie. They don’t care what their kid is doing as long as they are left alone. These kids are the kids who beat the shit out of the good kids in school and their parents come to school and cry about how they did it because they were bullied. No, your kid had no parenting and they are now an asshole! Facts!
  7. Crowding Check Outers I cannot stand people who creep up your asshole when you are checking out! I am getting my money out and I am going to buy my shit. Give me space! Back up! Your spot will not be taken, the cashier will still check you out. Contrary to popular dumb ass belief, you are not entitled to enter my space just because you feel I am finished with my transaction.

Maybe it is my short temper or maybe I have an abundance of common sense.  I just know the “normal population” probably feels about the same way I do about 80% of this shit. I don’t know, maybe if you are the asshat that does this stuff, consider this your public service announcement.

Parenting Without Prescriptions!

Uncategorized

Today I just have to extend my sincerest apologies to my entire household. They are sometimes the reason for my madness and they are sometimes the “catch all” and they don’t have a damn thing in it. Today it was a little bit of both.

This post is literally just to make the hot mess parents feel better about their life. I literally feel as though I need medication to deal with my temper some days. Then there are days that I think to myself that it is no wonder why I act like a f*cking crazy person.

Hopefully this post makes those other parents feel better about losing their shit on a daily. I have this undeniable ability to go bat shit in about 2.5 seconds. My husband likes to talk about my lack of patience and I like to chalk it up to everyone around me acting like ass hats. I have 5 other people living in my house. They are my people….my family…the humans I keep alive. Well, my husband and I keep alive but,  more or less it’s my job. So, when they are lagging behind acting like they have never lived in our home before, forgetting our typical routines, showing their “Goldfish side”, I get a little hot! (Side note: I refer to my children as goldfish periodically because it is like one trip around the damn bowl and they already forget what the hell they are doing!)

Our 6 year old for example, God love him, he is the tender heart. He is so thoughtful and caring and when he feels as though he has hurt your feelings he just crumbles. He is such a dear.

On the flip side….. he is always is slow motion.

I refer to his speed as, “sloth mode”.

I cannot express the rate at which my blood pressure rises when I am getting this kid out of the door, especially in the morning before school! What parent would not need medication to deal with this behavior? He is not doing it because he is malicious. That is just him. He cannot help the way he was made but damn, he could sure as hell use a tune up.

This morning we had 20 minutes until we needed to be out of the door. Now, you moms that get this time crunch know, you don’t f*ck with the morning routine because we are literally operating minute by minute and have that shit down to a science. My CHILD, my precious, tender hearted sloth of a child, eats one flippin’ lucky charm at a time and to make matters worse, he will ask when he is done what I want him to do! Like really son….we have been at this shit now for over half the school year and you are in your underwear and your hair looks like you left that hurricane booth at the mall. GET YOUR DAMN CLOTHES ON! That is what happens next! Clothes! …… Now!…. Jesus!

Then my favorite part of the morning comes…..tears…because he is emotional. OMG! Then my husband walks by with….”my aren’t we cranky this morning”. OMG! I CANNOT EVEN! There you have it….That is officially when bat-shit mode takes over and I consider medication to deal with my life. (Not really seriously thinking on it but, the thought has crossed my mind. Would it be such a bad thing?)

 

Our 5 year old, well his little ass lays in bed until the last possible second. Today was picture day. All I wanted was him to get up, put his shit on, and I needed to get him ready. He was moving about like the 6 year old. He is just the complainer and the needy one. Does anyone else have that, “needy child”? This is the kid who cannot function without assistance and has something wrong with them all the time. They are the, my head hurts, my knee hurts, can I have a drink, OMG I have to pee, KID! Makes me crazy!

Then we have Ruby, she is 8, she is sweet. She is kind of like Lucas, the 6 year old. They are both people pleasers. She just can’t hear. No, she doesn’t have a condition. She is my, “huh?” kid. She can never hear you. You have to repeat yourself 500 times. Then, if she feels like you are getting irritated and she doesn’t want to piss you off by saying huh again, she will just look at you with that deer in the headlight look. Oh it makes for a very interesting morning.

We cannot forget our baby. He is almost 1. He is the spoiled one. I mean he has 5 other people in his house that literally cater to his every need. He wants for nothing….until everyone is busy. He is…UP …MY….ASS!  He wants to be held, cuddled, entertained constantly. If you don’t have time for that, well then you’re f*cked! He will make your life miserable. You can listen to the song of his people which happens to be a very loud battle cry that makes you want to drown yourself in his bath water!

I know, it seems as though I hate my children and I truly love them dearly. They are my world. 98% of the time I do embrace it, as my husband says. The other 2% I am literally calling them asshats in my head and considering a prescription to deal with my anger. Then I think, is it me? Maybe it is them? Maybe it is normal to have this issue with little people. They are little people after all. Is this what my mother used to warn me about? WTF?

So for the moms like me….you are not alone. For the rest of you who do not fall into this category….you’re a freak of nature or medicated. You are probably those people that wash your laundry, fold it, and put it away in the same day. I don’t understand you. You don’t speak my language. Go you though!

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(Yes, I call my kids ass hats. They are sometimes ass hats. It’s ok. I don’t literally call them that when they are acting like ass hates. I cringe, grit my teeth, & talk to them like a normal mother. I only call them ass hats in my head. If you haven’t called your child an obscene name in your head, you are lying!)

 

More like this post….

https://unpolishedperfectionblog.wordpress.com/2016/02/01/confessions-from-that-wife

 

 

 

 

 

When The Rug Gets Pulled Out….

Lifes Lessons

As a wife and mother we sometimes look at the world with those blinders. We get so busy being the best that we can be that we morph into people that think everything in the world is as we see it. Everything we are looking at is what it is. What happens when your world gets rocked? What happens when you realize those rosy lenses you looked at your beautiful world through aren’t so peachy? What happens when your life is not as “perfect” as you thought it was. This can happen to any one of us at any time. There are numerous reasons this happens. This may be a sudden death of someone close to us, catch your husband having an affair, lose your job, get terrible news, etc. the list can go on. This is something I have always called that “pivot” in my life. It’s a point in my life where I make a turn and look at my life and nothing looks, smells, feels, or even sounds the same anymore. This pivot in my life is like a new path my life takes and I didn’t plan on it. What happens when you reach one of these pivots? I am also not saying they always have to be negative pivots. Sometimes there are positive points in your life where everything changes and you realize things will never be the same.

Today  I am talking about the negative ones. I am talking about them from the view of a woman. How in the world do you deal with them? It is something I have described and heard described as, “having the rug pulled out from under you”. You as a woman have to make a decision during these trying times. You have to decide if you will stay and fight to get your life back, move on and start a new life, or deny what has happened and live in the self pity.

I know from personal experience, you may go through all of these stages before you actually choose one to live with. Being a wife and mother is hard enough. When you have life altering things happen to you it is almost unbearable. You spend all of your energy on your family. You make sure your children are happy, healthy, & tended to. You make sure your husband is happy, healthy, & tended to. Then last comes you. The woman of the house. The engine of the family. You are always last on the list. So, when something in your life makes you rethink everything you once knew, what in the hell do you do?

 

1.STOP DOING IT ALL….When something major happens in your life you need to take a moment. Take a moment and let someone else help you. Give yourself more “me” time and less “mom/wife” time. It is okay to take a personal time-out. Call your bestfriends, mom, someone that you trust and get some time away. People will be happy to step in and help you pick up the kids, walk your dog, or go to dinner with you.

2.CHOOSE TO FORGIVE AND ACTUALLY FORGIVE….If your issue is infidelity or marital issues then forgiveness is so important. As a woman we tend to relive these terrible moments inside of our heads over and over. We over think situations because we were not there and we are trying to make sense of all of this. We are inquisitive creatures by nature and when something sends your world spinning like an affair….well…we no longer think with our rational mom or wife brains. We begin thinking with a more primal part of our brain. It will take you back to when I am not sure if we could stand on two feet, kind of primal crazy. If you can get past that and get your thoughts back and then you want your life back, if that’s even possible, you must forgive. All that, “forgiveness is for you”, bullshit people used to tell me about, well that happens to be true. When you have hate in your heart it effects every part of your being.

3. YOU DONT HAVE TO FORGET….. With what I said in #2, it doesn’t mean we forget. If you as a wife can forgive the man you trusted most, then that in itself is an amazing feet. You do not have to forget he screwed up. You just can’t live it everyday or bring it up to him everyday. I know as women we want him to pay daily for his faults. He really isn’t going to respond to this torment the way you would like anyway. So, why torture yourself? If you bring it up and talk about his faults every single day, how will you ever move on? You eventually have to get to a place where you can just understand that you chose to forgive him and if he needs it, you will remind him, but he surely won’t need it everyday. Not if he is the kind of guy who is genuinely sorry for what he did. He will need closure from his mistake. You wouldn’t crucify your kids for that party they should not have attended for the rest of their lives.

4. REMEMBER IT IS NOT YOU….In most cases we as women like to place the blame on ourselves. When our world is turned upside down we automatically assume we could have “fixed it” or we could have prevented this terrible thing from happening. Well just because we thought our world was one way and it really wasn’t doesn’t mean we could change it if we knew. If someone hurts you or cheats on you it is always their problem. They chose to be with you. If they cannot live up to the commitment they made then it is 100% on them. You cannot change their mind from the bad choices they inevitably make. You can only help them deal with the aftermath. Sometimes your choice is to leave them. That is okay too. Sometimes you just have to know when enough is enough.

In the middle of the storm you truly get to see how strong you are. You get to dig deep and you get out of the robot mode of motherhood and you get to see yourself and remember that you still have emotions and feelings. Damn, they really hurt sometimes too! This is a great time to know just how much strength you have. If you can stay and work through a mess then you are one strong woman. If you have to walk away from a situation and cut someone out of your life then you are a strong woman. No matter what you choose it takes strength.  You just cannot stay and wallow in the self pity forever. You will have days of it believe me. You just cannot stay there.

 

As a woman there is nothing that bothers us more than losing our trust in the people we love, the world around us, or ourselves. When one of these is lost we feel so out of balance it is hard to do our jobs as mothers and as wives. Recently I had to take my own advice and I tell ya, shit is hard. These pills are hard to swallow. Especially if you’re a bit of  a control freak like myself. I have just came to the conclusion I am worthy of a lot more than I was given and I wont settle for anything less than the best from here on out. When I feel someone isn’t treating me with the same attitude and love that I have for myself I will walk away.

 

 

Now It’s The Selfies….In The Adult World.

Lifes Lessons

Now it is 2017 and social media is literally taking over. If you are reading this blog in the first place you are living in the adult world. Well, if you’re like me, you are “adulting” with the best of your abilities most days. I didn’t start this blog because I was trying to join the young population. I started this blog to reach the generation that still has some common sense left in their damn heads. I am talking about those people in their 30’s who can remember when Facebook was merely for college students. Do you remember when it was unheard of for your grandmother to have Facebook? I don’t want it to seem like I don’t enjoy having my grandmother on Facebook, that is not what I am getting at. I am just talking about a time back when social media was for the carefree. It wasn’t taken to a whole notha level.

It all started with the random college party posts. Those pictures you posted for all of your college friends and you didn’t have to worry about your family, colleagues, or grandmother seeing your awesome keg stand last weekend.

Then it progressed to the status updates to mention of the random parties you were planning on attending…no drama…no hate. These were just posts talking about where you were going , what you were going to do, & who was buying the beer. Maybe you posted about the killer time you had last night and tagged who attended. That is all. You did not post about your marital misfortunes or your child shitting up his back. You posted about carefree stuff, fun stuff, stuff people read and went, “whoa, that looks like fun” and moved the hell on! They didn’t screen shot that! Jesus!

Call me old Y2K fashioned but I miss those days. Now, we have the God FORSAKEN Selfies! I am all about a good selfie. I know when your shit is on point and you’re a mom and your shit is never on point so you feel the need to snap a selfie and post that shit because the world needs to see that! It never happens! So when it does it needs to be shared, liked, retweeted, hashtagged, & so on. I am totally with you, but when you do a daily selfie, when your shit is supposedly on point everyday, in your car, at your office, in your bathroom, from your kids ball game, etc. NO! That doesn’t happen. I am sorry. When you are in your 30’s and later it is not okay to give it the ole duck face pose in front of your reverse camera and then post that shit. Ladies, when you have hit that point that is attention seeking.

Now, this may sound like I am bashing you, I promise I am not. I am giving you healthy adulting advice. This is not frikin normal. If you have to post, “selfie of the day” you are lacking some self confidence or attention somewhere. Someone, somewhere is not doing their damn job. You need to look deep inside of yourself and tell yourself you look good…without the duck bill. I don’t know, try a smile….with some teeth. Try that on for size. Then maybe you can attract a real man, with real values, and he can give you the right attention. I see these selfies and I feel sorry for these women. These women who are 30 something, standing in their dirty ass bathroom, wearing their mom cardigan, smooshing their damn lips together, tilting their damn head sideways, & don’t forget the snap chat filter! That is some sad shit. You know you have done it and you know we have all been there. Now, let us all make a motion to make a change and start smiling and taking no duck face, unfiltered through snap chat photos. Unless you are sending them to your friends, because we all need those friends to send our personal selfies to. Just keep that shit private.

You are all beautiful just the way you are you do not need the extra bullshit duck billed, butterflies on your head, or pirate makeup. You are rocking the adult glam more than you know. Don’t hate getting older. The young girls look dumb doing it too.

-Keep On Adulting, or Tryin To!

 

Berner Love

Uncategorized

Recently we purchased a Bernese Mountain Dog. OMG! She is an amazing addition to our already crazy family. We love her. I cannot say enough about this breed. I have had a lot of people asking me about her. She is super smart, very trainable, great with the kids, very loving, great energy, & a people pleaser.

I always had German Shepherds growing up, due to their intelligent disposition and protective nature. Now that I am adulating and created all these humans, I realized I needed a dog to fit my family. I needed a dog I could really trust around my kids who aren’t always so “aware” of their surroundings. Greta is that dog for us. Her parents came from Sweden and we got her from a friend. So we got the pleasure of meeting both of Greta’s parents. They were amazing with my children. They were especially calm and patient with our 11 month old.

This breed of dog is unlike any other I have ever had. I have actually had a few breeds and the Berners are top notch. I hope this is helping anyone on the fence about a friendly family dog they are on the search for.

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Welcome!

Uncategorized

Why I blog? Honestly, I started a blog long ago for my kids and their everyday activities and it was fun. Although I loved sharing their little adventures….it only reached a small amount of people. So, I had some people that asked me to write about more real things and so here is my new baby. I will move some of my, “Teeters In Tot life” items over soon.

If this blog reaches at least one person and makes their life a little more simple, happy, or gets them through their day than I have done what I sought out to do. Enjoy my life. It’s not always glamourous or pretty but, it is mine and I love it….most days haha.