When The Rug Gets Pulled Out….

Lifes Lessons

As a wife and mother we sometimes look at the world with those blinders. We get so busy being the best that we can be that we morph into people that think everything in the world is as we see it. Everything we are looking at is what it is. What happens when your world gets rocked? What happens when you realize those rosy lenses you looked at your beautiful world through aren’t so peachy? What happens when your life is not as “perfect” as you thought it was. This can happen to any one of us at any time. There are numerous reasons this happens. This may be a sudden death of someone close to us, catch your husband having an affair, lose your job, get terrible news, etc. the list can go on. This is something I have always called that “pivot” in my life. It’s a point in my life where I make a turn and look at my life and nothing looks, smells, feels, or even sounds the same anymore. This pivot in my life is like a new path my life takes and I didn’t plan on it. What happens when you reach one of these pivots? I am also not saying they always have to be negative pivots. Sometimes there are positive points in your life where everything changes and you realize things will never be the same.

Today  I am talking about the negative ones. I am talking about them from the view of a woman. How in the world do you deal with them? It is something I have described and heard described as, “having the rug pulled out from under you”. You as a woman have to make a decision during these trying times. You have to decide if you will stay and fight to get your life back, move on and start a new life, or deny what has happened and live in the self pity.

I know from personal experience, you may go through all of these stages before you actually choose one to live with. Being a wife and mother is hard enough. When you have life altering things happen to you it is almost unbearable. You spend all of your energy on your family. You make sure your children are happy, healthy, & tended to. You make sure your husband is happy, healthy, & tended to. Then last comes you. The woman of the house. The engine of the family. You are always last on the list. So, when something in your life makes you rethink everything you once knew, what in the hell do you do?

 

1.STOP DOING IT ALL….When something major happens in your life you need to take a moment. Take a moment and let someone else help you. Give yourself more “me” time and less “mom/wife” time. It is okay to take a personal time-out. Call your bestfriends, mom, someone that you trust and get some time away. People will be happy to step in and help you pick up the kids, walk your dog, or go to dinner with you.

2.CHOOSE TO FORGIVE AND ACTUALLY FORGIVE….If your issue is infidelity or marital issues then forgiveness is so important. As a woman we tend to relive these terrible moments inside of our heads over and over. We over think situations because we were not there and we are trying to make sense of all of this. We are inquisitive creatures by nature and when something sends your world spinning like an affair….well…we no longer think with our rational mom or wife brains. We begin thinking with a more primal part of our brain. It will take you back to when I am not sure if we could stand on two feet, kind of primal crazy. If you can get past that and get your thoughts back and then you want your life back, if that’s even possible, you must forgive. All that, “forgiveness is for you”, bullshit people used to tell me about, well that happens to be true. When you have hate in your heart it effects every part of your being.

3. YOU DONT HAVE TO FORGET….. With what I said in #2, it doesn’t mean we forget. If you as a wife can forgive the man you trusted most, then that in itself is an amazing feet. You do not have to forget he screwed up. You just can’t live it everyday or bring it up to him everyday. I know as women we want him to pay daily for his faults. He really isn’t going to respond to this torment the way you would like anyway. So, why torture yourself? If you bring it up and talk about his faults every single day, how will you ever move on? You eventually have to get to a place where you can just understand that you chose to forgive him and if he needs it, you will remind him, but he surely won’t need it everyday. Not if he is the kind of guy who is genuinely sorry for what he did. He will need closure from his mistake. You wouldn’t crucify your kids for that party they should not have attended for the rest of their lives.

4. REMEMBER IT IS NOT YOU….In most cases we as women like to place the blame on ourselves. When our world is turned upside down we automatically assume we could have “fixed it” or we could have prevented this terrible thing from happening. Well just because we thought our world was one way and it really wasn’t doesn’t mean we could change it if we knew. If someone hurts you or cheats on you it is always their problem. They chose to be with you. If they cannot live up to the commitment they made then it is 100% on them. You cannot change their mind from the bad choices they inevitably make. You can only help them deal with the aftermath. Sometimes your choice is to leave them. That is okay too. Sometimes you just have to know when enough is enough.

In the middle of the storm you truly get to see how strong you are. You get to dig deep and you get out of the robot mode of motherhood and you get to see yourself and remember that you still have emotions and feelings. Damn, they really hurt sometimes too! This is a great time to know just how much strength you have. If you can stay and work through a mess then you are one strong woman. If you have to walk away from a situation and cut someone out of your life then you are a strong woman. No matter what you choose it takes strength.  You just cannot stay and wallow in the self pity forever. You will have days of it believe me. You just cannot stay there.

 

As a woman there is nothing that bothers us more than losing our trust in the people we love, the world around us, or ourselves. When one of these is lost we feel so out of balance it is hard to do our jobs as mothers and as wives. Recently I had to take my own advice and I tell ya, shit is hard. These pills are hard to swallow. Especially if you’re a bit of  a control freak like myself. I have just came to the conclusion I am worthy of a lot more than I was given and I wont settle for anything less than the best from here on out. When I feel someone isn’t treating me with the same attitude and love that I have for myself I will walk away.

 

 

Now It’s The Selfies….In The Adult World.

Lifes Lessons

Now it is 2017 and social media is literally taking over. If you are reading this blog in the first place you are living in the adult world. Well, if you’re like me, you are “adulting” with the best of your abilities most days. I didn’t start this blog because I was trying to join the young population. I started this blog to reach the generation that still has some common sense left in their damn heads. I am talking about those people in their 30’s who can remember when Facebook was merely for college students. Do you remember when it was unheard of for your grandmother to have Facebook? I don’t want it to seem like I don’t enjoy having my grandmother on Facebook, that is not what I am getting at. I am just talking about a time back when social media was for the carefree. It wasn’t taken to a whole notha level.

It all started with the random college party posts. Those pictures you posted for all of your college friends and you didn’t have to worry about your family, colleagues, or grandmother seeing your awesome keg stand last weekend.

Then it progressed to the status updates to mention of the random parties you were planning on attending…no drama…no hate. These were just posts talking about where you were going , what you were going to do, & who was buying the beer. Maybe you posted about the killer time you had last night and tagged who attended. That is all. You did not post about your marital misfortunes or your child shitting up his back. You posted about carefree stuff, fun stuff, stuff people read and went, “whoa, that looks like fun” and moved the hell on! They didn’t screen shot that! Jesus!

Call me old Y2K fashioned but I miss those days. Now, we have the God FORSAKEN Selfies! I am all about a good selfie. I know when your shit is on point and you’re a mom and your shit is never on point so you feel the need to snap a selfie and post that shit because the world needs to see that! It never happens! So when it does it needs to be shared, liked, retweeted, hashtagged, & so on. I am totally with you, but when you do a daily selfie, when your shit is supposedly on point everyday, in your car, at your office, in your bathroom, from your kids ball game, etc. NO! That doesn’t happen. I am sorry. When you are in your 30’s and later it is not okay to give it the ole duck face pose in front of your reverse camera and then post that shit. Ladies, when you have hit that point that is attention seeking.

Now, this may sound like I am bashing you, I promise I am not. I am giving you healthy adulting advice. This is not frikin normal. If you have to post, “selfie of the day” you are lacking some self confidence or attention somewhere. Someone, somewhere is not doing their damn job. You need to look deep inside of yourself and tell yourself you look good…without the duck bill. I don’t know, try a smile….with some teeth. Try that on for size. Then maybe you can attract a real man, with real values, and he can give you the right attention. I see these selfies and I feel sorry for these women. These women who are 30 something, standing in their dirty ass bathroom, wearing their mom cardigan, smooshing their damn lips together, tilting their damn head sideways, & don’t forget the snap chat filter! That is some sad shit. You know you have done it and you know we have all been there. Now, let us all make a motion to make a change and start smiling and taking no duck face, unfiltered through snap chat photos. Unless you are sending them to your friends, because we all need those friends to send our personal selfies to. Just keep that shit private.

You are all beautiful just the way you are you do not need the extra bullshit duck billed, butterflies on your head, or pirate makeup. You are rocking the adult glam more than you know. Don’t hate getting older. The young girls look dumb doing it too.

-Keep On Adulting, or Tryin To!

 

Berner Love

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Recently we purchased a Bernese Mountain Dog. OMG! She is an amazing addition to our already crazy family. We love her. I cannot say enough about this breed. I have had a lot of people asking me about her. She is super smart, very trainable, great with the kids, very loving, great energy, & a people pleaser.

I always had German Shepherds growing up, due to their intelligent disposition and protective nature. Now that I am adulating and created all these humans, I realized I needed a dog to fit my family. I needed a dog I could really trust around my kids who aren’t always so “aware” of their surroundings. Greta is that dog for us. Her parents came from Sweden and we got her from a friend. So we got the pleasure of meeting both of Greta’s parents. They were amazing with my children. They were especially calm and patient with our 11 month old.

This breed of dog is unlike any other I have ever had. I have actually had a few breeds and the Berners are top notch. I hope this is helping anyone on the fence about a friendly family dog they are on the search for.

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Welcome!

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Why I blog? Honestly, I started a blog long ago for my kids and their everyday activities and it was fun. Although I loved sharing their little adventures….it only reached a small amount of people. So, I had some people that asked me to write about more real things and so here is my new baby. I will move some of my, “Teeters In Tot life” items over soon.

If this blog reaches at least one person and makes their life a little more simple, happy, or gets them through their day than I have done what I sought out to do. Enjoy my life. It’s not always glamourous or pretty but, it is mine and I love it….most days haha.