Today acceptance for me is the most difficult part about my day.
“Accept the unacceptable” ….is what I constantly tell myself.
Since I was very young, I have had an innate ability to remove toxic people from my life. I have had a very intuitive nature about me. I would be able to look at someone and know if they were good or bad for me. I was always able to steer away from heartache this way….until I wasn’t. I have now, due to recent events, learned that acceptance is something you have to sometimes work for. Acceptance is sometimes the only thing standing in the way of your happiness. Before I found out my husband cheated on me, I thought he was wonderful. I thought he loved me the way I loved him. I thought he would always be my protector.
He acted in no way like the man I thought he was. I had to accept he was not who I fell in love with. Then I had to accept the fact that my life was forever changed. For me, I felt this instant draw for some type of normal in my life. I began clinging to him. I wanted nothing more than to just have him near. Odd, you would think I should hate him. Parts of me did. Parts of me understood him and understood people make mistakes. What I had a hard time accepting he was never going to love me at the same caliber I loved him. Sure, he says he is a changed man, I do believe he is sorry and has changed. The realist in me said he couldn’t change over night. Not unless he finally found the same love for me I had for him. Can I really believe this right now though? I wanted him to rescue me and my broken heart. He wasn’t interested in that. He wanted me to move on and forget about his short comings. There was no rescuing me, no endearing motivation, not much of anything really. He just wanted me to accept the fact that he messed up, move on, & go back to normal.
I have learned acceptance has no timeline, rules, boundaries, or options. You either accept the unacceptable or suffer in your own miserable being. Acceptance means a lot of things to a lot of people. It changes your perception and alters your entire self. What you do with your acceptance will make or break you.